The good news is that selling, when done properly, has nothing to do with persuading. It is not our job to talk people into things. The first salesperson had it right: selling is about determining a fit between the buyer’s need and the seller’s supply (our very objective) and then facilitating a next step. Sometimes the proper next step is to part ways, sending the client on to another provider who is better able to serve him.

We might argue that the high-pressure salesperson is going to sell more stereos than the respectful facilitator, but it is not stereos that we sell. We sell ideas and advice—the very contents of our heads—and so how we sell impacts what we are able to deliver. We cannot disappear immediately after the transaction is concluded, and leave the client to wallow in his buyer’s remorse. After the close, our clients are stuck with us for a long time.

Yes, we must sell. But there is only one way we can afford to sell: the way of the respectful facilitator.

Let us think for a minute on how difficult the respectful approach is if we have not followed the first proclamation (We will specialize). If we have not specialized and set ourselves apart from our competition in a meaningful way then all we have left is convincing. Convince or pitch: these are the options of the undifferentiated firm.