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The Power of Reciprocity

In this month's Win Without Pitching Webcast, The Referral, I talked about leveraging the power of reciprocity - the social construction of responding in-kind to the behavior of others - in using referrals. I referred to a podcast on the subject and promised to link to it here.

You can find the 52-minute long podcast, The Power of Persuasion by Dr. Robert Cialdini on iTunes, here. It'll cost you $1.95 and I recommend you spend it.

Dr. Robert Cialdini is a noted psychologist and author of two books on influence and persuasion. In this podcast he explains his Six Weapons of Influence, all of which are valuable and worth the time to listen, but it's his first weapon, Reciprocation, that sets the foundation for the whole argument. Dr. Cialdini explains, and offers numerous fascinating examples, that the powerful idea that people tend to return a favor is highly underleveraged in business and in life.

The classic example of failing to employ reciprocity is the over-worked, under-appreciated co-worker who fulfills the request of his peer or supervisor at great personal expense - dropping everything else or working on the weekend, to meet the request. The mistake happens when the work is handed over and thanks is expressed. This is where the worker bee finds himself saying, 'It was nothing,' when he should be saying, 'I know that you would do the same for me.'

In moments like this, Dr. Cialdini explains, people want to be able to reciprocate - return the favor. The moment when you deliver to your client, and in great relief he thanks you for all you've done - that is the moment when you should give him the opportunity to reciprocate by saying, 'You're welcome. I hope that if you ever run into an associate facing similar challenges, you'll think of us and suggest he give us a call.'

It is in this manner, employing the power of reciprocity, that you build your referral base, and NOT by sitting your clients down and asking for names of people you can stalk. As Cal Harrison, my colleague and co-presenter in The Referral, noted, asking for names only makes you come across like a sales predator. Asking for reciprocation at the time of delivery is fair trade. Waiting, then asking later is seen as an entirely new, unconnected request that is all about your needs.

Again, you can find Dr. Cialdini's podcast here. I found it fascinating. 

Thanks to Raff at Maddock Douglas for sending it my way.