You’re in a Closing Conversation with a highly-coveted prospective client. The CFO enters the client boardroom, says some words to their colleagues, then looks right into the webcam at you and sternly says, “I don’t know what you’ve heard, but this project is not a priority.”

Now what?

How do you respond to this, or any other unforeseen event in the sale, when your rational neocortex suddenly abandons the wheel, handing control over to the amygdalae, which chemically spike your heart rate, shortens your breath, and has you scanning for the exits?

In training recently someone aptly likened these moments to having cold water thrown in their face. It’s so accurate, it’s not even a metaphor. You’re having the same emotional and physiological response as if you’ve just been doused with cold water.

So let’s find a model for dealing with it.

First, Arrest the Shock Response

Most people enter cold water slowly, tentatively, stringing out the shock and pain. It’s hilarious to watch these masochists.

A better approach is to take a breath, dive in and stay underwater while holding your breath as long as you can. Then, while still under water, prolong your exhale. When you surface, try to control your inhale, through the nose if possible, although this will be difficult at first.

Breath holds and exhales trigger the parasympathetic nervous system (as does nasal breathing, generally) slowing the heart rate, calming the mind and body.

Inhaling, especially through the mouth, which we tend to do when stressed, triggers the sympathetic nervous system, releasing stress hormones and increasing the heart rate. (You can test this with a pulse oximeter. You can also test it by stepping outside in the winter while underdressed. Inhale before you open the door, exit, then do a long hold and controlled exhale when outside. You won’t feel the cold until you inhale, and it will be less cold, especially if you inhale slowly through the nose.)

Daily cold exposure like this can train much of the autonomic shock response out of your system in three to five days.

Breathe

So the first thing to do when an unforeseen event upends a sales conversation, triggering in you an unwanted response, is get control of your breath.

Breathe in through the nose. Hold for a bit, then exhale slowly. It’s going to feel like an eternity but it’s not, it’s only a few seconds. In these few seconds while you are focusing on your breath you will also be embodying one of the Win Without Pitching principles of selling expertise: Embrace Silence.

The first step of first aid is to take control — of yourself first and the situation second. The breath is for you. The silence you create helps you take control of the situation.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

–Viktor Frankl

Ask the Client to Elaborate

You’ll want to focus on your breathing a bit longer, so get the client talking.

“Say more” might be all the words you need to buy a few more calming breath cycles. Or you can mirror back to the client their own words with a slight question intoned. “Not a priority?”

And breathe.

Your next step from here will depend on the variables and your level of training, but you’ve now composed yourself and are beginning to take back control.

Train Out the Shock Response

All this begs the question of what the sales training equivalent to a daily cold plunge might be? What are the reps that you might do to train the shock response out of you and almost automatically kick-start your breath-based composure protocol?

The short answer is repeated exposure. You could simulate such scenarios in role plays with a team member or coach. (We offer coaching to those who have been through Win Without Pitching training. Get in touch to explore.)

But cold exposure itself might be just as effective. Like I said, it elicits the same mental and physiological response as a client pulling an unexpected power play move.

Finish your morning showers by inhaling, turning the water abruptly to the coldest setting, hold your breath, control your exhale, hold, and repeat in this “box breathing” pattern. 

Turn your body 90 degrees to the stream with every “side” of the breath box (inhale, hold, exhale, hold) so one box equals a full rotation. Keep the lengths of the box the same — a three or four count. Stay in until the shock response is gone, your breathing and muscles relax and you feel like you could last for another ten minutes or so (this typically takes 1 to 2 minutes).

You’ll not only feel great afterward, you’ll have logged one more rep in the training to override the fight-or-flight response of your autonomic nervous system. By conquering how your body responds to cold you will get a sense of just how controllable this system actually is, all through repeated exposure and focusing on your breath. 

Get Thee to a Stage!

I’ve long known that people with backgrounds in stand-up comedy or improv tend to be good at sales, but it wasn’t until the recent comment equating these objections to cold water that I understood why.

Dealing with hecklers (stand-up) and the unknown (improv) is great training for overriding your autonomic nervous system (composed of your sympathetic, parasympathetic and one other nervous system) allowing you to replace an emotional reaction with a controlled response.

Perhaps you should be looking to comedy clubs and improv groups for your next star salesperson?

And maybe improv games and cold plunges should be a regular part of quarterly sales kickoffs or other IRL get-togethers?

Now that’s a memorable meeting!

-Blair